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I must decrease

The Fare Forward Poetry Competition: First Place

I must decrease

By Nadine Ellsworth-Moran

I must decrease,

                           — for Bob, who loved the Isenheim Altarpiece

said St. John, pointing to the Christ as he slips out
of frame, just as you are beginning to fade
in your frame—      your body, so restless, twitches
with impulses unattached to corporeal desires, as if rising

to walk those Alsatian corridors, sit beneath painted panels
in the Isenheim hospital ward, pray for the brothers afflicted,
grieved by St. Anthony’s fire, blackening
extremities, enflaming the mind—      overwhelmed in ecstasies,
I sense you are nearer now to them, though I am at your bedside.

Your mustache is neatly trimmed as if you are joining friends
for dinner, ready to chat over Crêpes Louisiane. A nurse, perhaps,
has done this barbering for you. A small kindness, honoring an elder.

Does your body know your mind has already started packing
up rooms, sealing boxes full of things you will not need? Does
it know where you spend your time, some elsewhere, unmapped –

I take your hands in mine,
such large hands
enfolding, holding your
life in proclamation.

Photo: Isenheim Altarpiece by Nikolaus of Haguenau and Matthias Grünewald (c. 1512-1516) via Wikimedia Commons

Nadine Ellsworth-Moran lives in Georgia where she serves full time in ministry. She has a passion for writing and is fascinated by the stories of the modern South unfolding all around her and seeks to bring everyone into conversation around a common table. Her essays and poems have appeared in Interpretation, Ekstasis, Thimble, Emrys, Structo, Kakalak, and Sonic Boom, among others.  She lives with her husband and three unrepentant cats.