{"id":7699,"date":"2023-03-01T21:15:43","date_gmt":"2023-03-01T21:15:43","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/farefwd.com\/?p=7699"},"modified":"2023-03-01T21:15:46","modified_gmt":"2023-03-01T21:15:46","slug":"the-banshees-of-inisherin","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/farefwd.com\/index.php\/2023\/03\/01\/the-banshees-of-inisherin\/","title":{"rendered":"The Banshees of Inisherin"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t
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Not For Worse<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t
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Do we undervalue friendships when we think there\u2019s nothing worth ending them over?<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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Review by Whitney Rio-Ross
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I love a good breakup movie. Whether the couple ends up back together or not, breakup stories are a powerful vehicle for character development and philosophical exploration. Plus, the dissolution of a relationship is a universal experience. We\u2019ve all had our heart broken, right?<\/p>

I\u2019d say, yes, everyone I know has been through heartbreak due to a relationship ending. The problem is that not all those relationships were romantic, and that\u2019s key to the typical breakup film. Martin McDonagh\u2019s The Banshees of Inisherin<\/em>, however, expands the breakup genre to the realm of friendship. According to McDonagh, friends can fall out of love, and the result can be devastating. (If this film weren\u2019t also a goldmine of dark comedy, I couldn\u2019t stomach the misery.)<\/p>

Banshees <\/em>tells the story of two friends living on a small island off the coast of Ireland during the Irish Civil War. Colm and P\u00e1draic were best friends who spent nearly all their time together. The film begins, however, with Colm refusing to speak to P\u00e1draic. Eventually, Colm tells P\u00e1draic that he simply doesn\u2019t like him anymore. The root of that dislike comes from their difference in intellect and interests. Colm is a fiddler and composer, introspective and artistic. P\u00e1draic is an incurious farmer who doesn\u2019t know the name Mozart and loves talking at length about his beloved animals. As Colm approaches old age, he\u2019s begun to realize that he wants to spend his time working on music rather than chatting with Padraic. He mourns, \u201cIn twelve years, I\u2019ll die with nothin\u2019 to show for it but the chats I\u2019ve had with a limited man.\u201d<\/p>

P\u00e1draic has a difficult time accepting Colm\u2019s desire to end things. Instead of staying out of Colm\u2019s way, he is determined to continue the relationship, speaking to Colm despite his repeated requests to be left alone. To make P\u00e1draic stop, Colm threatens to take disturbing, drastic measures. Thanks to P\u00e1draic\u2019s persistence, he makes good on the threats.<\/p>

Colm is a selfish jerk and, as his methods to end the relationship eventually show, mentally unwell. His view of friendship has become utilitarian. As a dull and unartistic man, P\u00e1draic doesn\u2019t offer Colm the appreciative audience or creative fodder he has decided is necessary for his friendships. Colm pursues relationships with fellow musicians who meet his new standards, leaving P\u00e1draic to watch their jam sessions from the other side of the pub. But Colm is not the only bad friend in this relationship.<\/p>

P\u00e1draic\u2019s refusal to leave Colm alone reveals a profound selfishness of his own. McDonagh is brilliant to begin the film with the breakup and not show us the actual friendship. We get to discover the former dynamic by watching the characters in this new situation. At the beginning, it\u2019s easy to see Colm as an unfeeling snob and P\u00e1draic as a sweet, simple man. After Colm dumps him, his sister and the other pub regulars encourage him by calling him \u201cnice\u201d and \u201cone of life\u2019s good guys.\u201d P\u00e1draic identifies himself this way, too, assuming that because he is \u201ca happy lad,\u201d Colm has no right to end the friendship. P\u00e1draic cares about reconciling with Colm (on P\u00e1draic\u2019s terms) far more than he cares about Colm\u2019s wellbeing. We see this clearly when P\u00e1draic\u2019s sister suggests that Colm might be depressed. \u201cThat\u2019s what I was thinking, that he\u2019s depressed,\u201d he tells her. \u201cWell, if he is, he could at least keep it to himself, like. You know, push it down, like the rest of us.\u201d We find out in a confessional scene that Colm has indeed been struggling with despair. It\u2019s one thing to not be able to talk to your friend about your craft. It\u2019s another to know you can\u2019t talk to him about your internal struggles.<\/p><\/div>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t

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We shouldn\u2019t frame relationships in terms of gain or loss.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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I hate the Instagram therapy advice that we should remove ourselves from people \u201cwho aren\u2019t serving us.\u201d That\u2019s Colm\u2019s mindset and a recipe for a selfish loneliness. We shouldn\u2019t frame relationships in terms of gain or loss. Over the last decade, though, I have noticed an overcorrection championed primarily by Christians\u2014a theology of staying for staying\u2019s sake. I credit it mostly to a spirit of culture war and a selective syllabus of Wendell Berry. I have watched friends stay in places, churches, and friendships that were harmful because they believed they were supposed to tough it out, that leaving would be some kind of Christian failure. Of course, we shouldn\u2019t abandon our friends or community simply because living life together can be difficult. As long as your community is made of human beings, things will get hard at some point. Sometimes, though, holding on to certain relationships or community dynamics is in no one\u2019s best interest.<\/p>

If P\u00e1draic and Colm had been in a romantic relationship, we would easily conclude that the two shouldn\u2019t get back together simply based on the way they handle the breakup. (It gets dark\u2014really dark.) In those situations, it doesn\u2019t matter whose side we\u2019re on or who needs to apologize. What matters is that these two people are making each other worse, and they need to separate in order not to destroy their souls.<\/p>

We usually don\u2019t have this attitude toward friendship, though. Some of this has to do with monogamy and how we must end a harmful romance in order to pursue a good one. We also don\u2019t make sacred vows to continue relationship with friend or communities, aside from convents and monasteries. Still, monogamy isn\u2019t the only limitation in relationships; we all have a limited amount of time and energy to spend with other people. I can have several friendships, but I only have one lifetime. I must choose with whom I will spend my days, and that choice will determine the content of my life. When Colm says he fears living a life of no more than \u201cchats,\u201d I was horrified. A life of good conversations with friends sounds rather wonderful to me. Yes, I would need some time alone for sanity and writing, but substantial conversations feed my soul and make my life feel worthwhile. Yet P\u00e1draic does not offer that kind of company, and over time Colm grows bitter toward him, ending the relationship without any attempt at changing the dynamic. The dynamic had also been hurting P\u00e1draic, as it allowed him to continue in his clinginess and never challenged him to seek the emotional depth that he avoids through pleasant but shallow and incessant chatting.<\/p><\/div>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t

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If we believe that friendship and community are truly important, we should be able to accept that those relationships are also the kind that can shape us profoundly, for the better or worse.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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The film uses the repetition of trite words and phrases to a humorous effect, but the repetitive dialogue also reveals the community\u2019s painfully limited vocabulary. Everyone says Colm can\u2019t stop being friends with P\u00e1draic because \u201cit isn\u2019t nice.\u201d The whole island uses the word constantly, holding up niceness as a chief virtue. Yet no one attempts to define \u201cnice\u201d or \u201cgood\u201d or \u201cfriend.\u201d No one asks what these words mean or why they are important ideas. The lack of meaningful dialogue reveals an island-wide shallowness that only P\u00e1draic\u2019s clever, lonely sister notices.<\/p>

The community seems to want peace between Colm and P\u00e1driac, at first wanting Colm to be \u201cnicer\u201d and eventually wanting P\u00e1draic to get over his heartbreak. They want to chat without the drama or depth of pain. Fittingly, we see the community take no interest in the Civil War, its purpose or the way it is affecting their neighbors on the next coast. Inisherin is a gorgeous, sunny spot with birdsong. Ireland is a gloomy, thundering shore in the distance. But neither offers true peace\u2014one that allows for human suffering.<\/p>

The Banshees of Inisherin <\/em>warns against friendship and community without depth. Without the freedom to express one\u2019s pain or needs in a relationship, without enough air to make room for other friends or creative pursuits, relationships rot and lead to animosity, which can feed on depth or shallowness. Maybe our belief that \u201cniceness\u201d means remaining close to someone no matter what and our insistence that we must stay on our island forever actually shows how we trivialize non-romantic relationships. We can recognize that leaving a lover is sometimes necessary, though devastating. If we believe that friendship and community are truly important, we should be able to accept that those relationships are also the kind that can shape us profoundly, for the better or worse. If it\u2019s the latter, the kindest (and bravest) way forward may be to part ways with the friend or leave the island before we can only hate it.<\/p><\/div>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t

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Whitney Rio-Ross<\/strong>\u00a0holds a Master\u2019s in Religion and Literature from Yale Divinity School. Her writing has appeared in<\/em> Sojourners,<\/em>\u00a0Reflections,<\/em> America Magazine,<\/em>\u00a0LETTERS JOURNAL,<\/em>\u00a0The Cresset,<\/em>\u00a0St. Katherine Review,<\/em>\u00a0The Other Journal, and elsewhere. She is the author of the poetry chapbook\u00a0<\/em>Birthmarks and lives in Nashville, Tennessee, with her husband.<\/em><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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The Banshees of Inisherin<\/strong> was released on October 21, 2022 by Searchlight Pictures. It was directed and produced by Martin McDonagh. It is available to watch on a variety of streaming services.<\/em>
<\/em><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Do we undervalue friendships when we think there\u2019s nothing worth ending them over? Review by Whitney 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