{"id":12653,"date":"2026-01-28T14:00:41","date_gmt":"2026-01-28T14:00:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/farefwd.com\/?p=12653"},"modified":"2026-05-08T01:38:14","modified_gmt":"2026-05-08T01:38:14","slug":"love-crusadin","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/farefwd.com\/index.php\/2026\/01\/28\/love-crusadin\/","title":{"rendered":"Love Crusadin’"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t
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The Paradoxical Promises of Loving Yourself<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t
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Singer-songwriter Grace Lee\u2019s debut album locates the flaws in the modern search for fulfillment through self-love.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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Review by John Kainer<\/em><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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Love Crusadin\u2019<\/em>\u00a0is a story album. The title track is reminiscent of Taylor Swift\u2019s early discography infused with a healthy dose of \u201890s country, but the album is not just a collection of upbeat anthems about high hopes for romance; rather, it is about the very real internal struggles of a woman who longs for someone to accompany her through life.\u00a0Love Crusadin\u2019<\/em>\u00a0tells a story that proceeds in a series of peaks and valleys. The upbeat pop country of \u201cLove Crusadin\u2019\u201d gives way to the more skeptical \u201cGive Me Desire,\u201d a song that puts Lee in conversation with St. Joseph. She cleverly uses St. Joseph\u2019s titles\u2014Pillar of Families, Light of Patriarchs\u2014to illustrate his authority in the domains she struggles with. This skeptical searching transitions to the playful \u201cHey Romeo,\u201d where Lee makes a list of things that she is seeking in her potential man, and is immediately followed by the dark and introspective \u201cDesperado.\u201d The pattern ends with the self-effacing, \u201cYour Promised Land,\u201d in which Lee describes her heart: \u201c\u2018Cause it\u2019s not pretty, it\u2019s not grand. Trust me you could never stand a chance. It\u2019s not ready, it\u2019s not planned, I can\u2019t give you your promised land.\u201d The order of the songs produces a poignant story and makes listening to\u00a0Love Crusadin\u2019<\/em>\u00a0all the way through rewarding.<\/p>

The best song on the album is \u201cDesperado,\u201d a haunting ballad about how Lee has chosen to play God in her own life and found, much to her chagrin, that she cannot rise to meet the standards she has set for herself:<\/p>

The moon is shining so bright tonight
And my insomnia\u2019s a bittersweet affliction.
Don\u2019t need anyone to love tonight.
When did my melancholia start feeling like a drug addiction?
I guess I\u2019m feeling alone tonight.
Yeah, I know I tend to be so full of contradictions.
Can\u2019t look myself in the eyes,
I never did live up to any of my convictions.<\/p><\/div>

The lyrics cut through the comforting platitudes about self-love that have become clich\u00e9 in pop music over the past decade. Miley Cyrus\u2019s song \u201cFlowers\u201d is the best illustration of the genre: \u201cI can take myself dancing and I can hold my own hand, yeah, I can love me better than you can.\u201d Instead of orienting us towards better relations with others, these kinds of songs urge us to seek comfort in our own company. They ignore that we are made for relationship and, more than that, we are made for relationship with a loving God\u2014not to be gods ourselves.<\/p>

In \u201cDesperado,\u201d Lee is confronted by her inability to meet the standards that she has created for herself. It is not society\u2019s standards that she cannot measure up to, but the standards of her own heart. She craves the high produced by feeling sorry for herself, but playing the victim keeps her trapped in a loop of self-sabotage and self-abasement.<\/p>

She laments:<\/p>

So when will I stop waiting for tomorrow?
I\u2019m paralyzed in my self-sabotaging sorrow.
Oh my, oh my, Desperado.<\/div>

In referring to herself as a \u201cDesperado\u201d\u2014desperate, reckless, criminal\u2014Lee offers us food for thought: can we really be upset about the sorrow in our life if our own self-sabotage is the root cause? Of course we can! The problem is we have no justification for being upset if we are the self-sufficient masters of our faith that we claim to be. This is the practical consequence of elevating ourselves to the level of a god. Anything upsetting or wrong falls on our own shoulders.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t

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True love of self is a paradox, both a kind of self-forgetfulness and an affirmation of one\u2019s goodness.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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Yet Lee sees a path out of the darkness and reappraises her situation:<\/p>

Yeah, I know my God\u2019s in control.
He built me castles from the bridges that I burned.
My Lord, have mercy on my soul,
\u2018Cause I\u2019m acting now like it was something I deserved.
I\u2019m acting now like it was something that I earned.<\/div>

Reframing her situation from one of powerlessness to one where God has the power, Lee realizes that we all from time to time destroy the escape routes from our problems. The reason for this, Lee suggests, is that we often feel entitled to a life free of suffering because we\u2019ve worked hard. When we are confronted by the reality that suffering is a normal part of the human condition, our pride leads us to rebel.<\/p>

Lee is left pondering:<\/p>

So when will I just drop this fake bravado?
Is my pride a pill too big to swallow?
Let it go, let it go, Desperado.<\/div>

This leads her to the edge of the proverbial cliff:<\/p>

I\u2019m hanging by a thread, I\u2019m standing at the edge,
I\u2019m thinking about taking one last step,
I\u2019m humiliated, I\u2019m so complicated,
I\u2019m thinking about this stupid love that I\u2019m parading.
I\u2019m hanging by a thread, I\u2019m standing at the edge,
I\u2019m thinking about taking one last breath,
I\u2019m so masquerading, relentlessly self-hating,
I\u2019m thinking about this stupid love that I\u2019m betraying.
So when will I stop wasting all my sorrow?
I\u2019m paralyzed in my Desperado.<\/div>

Lee finds contradictions within herself and thinks that she should be otherwise, as if contradictions were not part of the human condition. Caught up in the embarrassment and shame of her shortcomings, she seeks refuge in her claim that she is complicated. Lee, however, is not unique in her complicated nature; she is just like everyone else who has ever been taken in by the false promises of the world, leaving their lives with little room for God\u2019s grace and love to intervene. Having reached the end of her rope, Lee can see clearly that the \u201cstupid love\u201d she\u2019s betraying is an improper form of self-love that has led her, as it leads everyone, to elevate herself to the place of God. Ironically, it has also produced a relentless self-hatred, as Lee realizes that she is likely to fall short of whatever standards she makes for herself. What could be more self-defeating than being the one making the rules and then failing to follow them?<\/p>

In \u201cDesperado,\u201d Lee reveals how easily self-love can become harmful self-idolatry, but she also hints that there is another way. Christians are called to a different kind of self-love, one that is an imitation of Christ\u2019s love for us. True love of self is a paradox, both a kind of self-forgetfulness and an affirmation of one\u2019s goodness. It is to treat yourself with the grace that you feel compelled to extend to someone who is going through something difficult. We are commanded to love ourselves, despite our flaws and sinfulness, the same way we are called to love our troubled family and friends. What gets in the way of us doing this? \u00a0Lee offers an answer in the second chorus: \u201cSo when will I just drop this fake bravado? Is my pride a pill too big to swallow?\u201d She also offers the formula for freedom, singing, \u201cLet it go, let it go, Desperado.\u201d If we wish to love ourselves and others in the way Christ commands, we will need to let go of our attachments. We will have to let go of who we think we are and accept who God says we are. These are the sacrifices by which we purge ourselves of our self-idolatry. As Lee makes clear, sacrifice is the mechanism by which we become more like God and, paradoxically, more of our true selves.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t

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John M. Kainer<\/strong>\u00a0is Associate Professor and Chair of Sociology at University of the Incarnate Word, as well an Affiliated Scholar with Veritas Center for Ethics in Public Life at Franciscan University in Steubenville, Ohio. His work has appeared in a wide variety of scholarly and popular publications. He lives in San Antonio, Texas, with his wife and son.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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Love Crusadin\u2019\u00a0<\/strong>was released by Novum Records on March 19, 2025. The album was produced by Mason Shirley of Sound Machine Studios. You can stream it\u00a0here<\/a>. \u00a0<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Singer-songwriter Grace Lee\u2019s debut album locates the flaws in the modern search for fulfillment through self-love. Review by John 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