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Twin A

An Array of Doubles

A mixture of poetry and prose mirrors author Amit Majmudar’s twin sons, one born healthy and one with a life-threatening heart defect.

By Betsy K. Brown

Amit Majmudar’s memoir, Twin A, is a letter to the author’s young son, Shiv, who was diagnosed with a potentially fatal heart defect in the womb. Shiv is a twin, and the book mirrors this fact by being itself an array of doubles: it draws inspiration from both eastern and western literature and is written in both poetry and prose; its author is both a poet and a medical doctor. Because of all of these pairings, the book sings with a dynamic, lovable energy. And, in spite of its eclecticism, it also maintains narrative unity, because it is at its core the simple story of a father who loves his son.

Twin A’s narrative spans more than a decade, from before the conception of Majmudar’s twins to the more-recent past, when the two boys are teenagers. It focuses mainly on his sons’ infancy and the early years of diagnoses and surgeries that marked Shiv’s (and the whole family’s) life. By the end, I felt as though I too had sat up with Majmudar and his family late into the night, surrounded by feeding tubes and vitals monitors. The author never shies from the suffering inherent in parenting a sick child, nor the immense love. He has discovered the secret of looking life in the face and embracing it, even when in the midst of multiple open-heart surgeries. But this memoir is not grim. Majmudar is a playful, creative author, and his explorations and explanations of medicine and family life are lively, creative, and full of wonder at the gift that is life.

Majmudar’s medical knowledge is one of several facets that make this memoir unique. As doctor and poet, he is able to explain complex and often-overwhelming medical maladies using stories, verse, and analogies. For instance, he describes Shiv’s heart defect with an extended metaphor of “the biggest pomegranate supplier in the country” with roads that were never built, halting vital transportation. Other moments where medicine and art meet are shorter and more tender. At one point, Majmudar and his wife visit a genetic counselor to discuss running tests on their unborn son. Majmudar looks at a pamphlet of illustrations: “I remember staring at the little fluorescent green chromosomes all in a row. They had the look of little Norse runes. The rune a human chromosome looks the most like is X, gebo. The meaning of that rune is ‘gift.’”

Twin A’s prose is interspersed with poems that are windows into the mysterious and mystical moments of Shiv’s early life. These poems provide necessary tone shifts, creating meditative room for readers before they return to prose, the proper form for the practical and urgent world of hospital and home.  One “breathing” moment like this is right after Majmudar receives the news about his unborn twins. He writes:

…Identical! Identical save for the heart, the heart.
This, too, is art.

I see, in asymmetry,
sublimity: the rightness of seas,

mismatched couplets, fingerprints;
of continents, pianos, planets, twins.

Majmudar’s “annotations” also shed light on the brilliance of his craft, and the effect is much like being led on a tour by the artist through his own gallery of paintings.

Later, Majmudar writes “a pair of twinned poems” at the hospital while sitting next to his unconscious six-month-old son, whose incision is still not closed due to swelling during the surgery:

                                                    A

I see your ribs     your ashen head
the chest tube wound     where you have bled
sacred blood     from your sacred heart
and it’s beyond my hybrid art
to reawaken from his rest
the mountaineer snowed under     this
swirl of living funeral ash

O Innocent atop Kailash
a private famine     your samadhi
instill now     in your still-life body
a will transcending mere desire

Come rise & revel in a sphere of fire

                                                   B

I see your ribs     your fallen head
the chest tube wound     where you have bled
sacred blood     from your sacred heart
that all their science     all my art
can neither reach     nor resurrect
your scorchmark tongue     your thorax wrecked
ribs of a ghost ship     snapped & lost
planks of a Son     roped in a cross

You bare your heart now     breastbone split
& I bear witness     to the twitch

heart muscle     missle in a silo
Lift off     & thread your solar halo

Before and after the poems he explains their structure: “You will see that the poems don’t have punctuation marks. That isn’t a lack or defect… This is just now these twins came out… In the first twinned poem… I see Shiva in you… In the second twinned poem, I see Christ in you.” These explanations, much like Dante’s in La Vita Nuova, do not detract from the beauty of the poems themselves, but instead enhance them. This may be because they are written as heartfelt epistles to the son himself. Majmudar’s “annotations” also shed light on the brilliance of his craft, and the effect is much like being led on a tour by the artist through his own gallery of paintings.

Several gems are saved for the final part of the memoir, including excerpts written by Majmudar’s wife, Ami, and Shiv himself. Shiv’s piece—an essay written for school when he was just eleven—contains one of the most memorable images in the book: “To me, hospital bands signify my bravery in going through everything I’ve gone through because of my heart condition. They are like paper scars from surgeries.” In fact, all of Twin A is a kind of paper scar, a literary scrapbook of hard-won victories and still-unanswered questions about pain and the future. It is a book about welcoming—welcoming new life, welcoming suffering, and welcoming the stories that will become yours and your family’s forever.

Betsy K. Brown is a teacher and chair of humanities at an Arizona high school, and a graduate of Seattle Pacific University’s MFA in Creative Writing program, with a focus on creative nonfiction. Her published writing includes work for Circe Institute and Autumn Sky Poetry. You can read more of her work at betsykbrown.com.

Twin A: A Memoir was published by Slant Books on August 15, 2023. You can purchase a copy from the publisher here.