The story Bridgerton tells so well is that finding and accepting love can be difficult, but that that love, once you have it, is the key to resolving any difficulties you face. In Season 1, Daphne and Simon suffer in their relationship because Simon’s childhood trauma causes him to not want children, and Daphne does. The miscommunication around this drives a wedge between the pair that is resolved not by talking about Simon’s very real trauma, but by convincing Simon that he must accept that he is deserving of love. The season ends with the couple happily welcoming a child into the world, with no lingering trauma to be seen. Season 2 likewise uses Anthony’s trauma as a tool to keep him and Kate apart, yet the resolution comes not from addressing this trauma, but from a speech by Anthony’s mother (played by Ruth Gemmell) insisting that “true love is worth it.” The problem is not the trauma the characters carry or the external consequences of their relationships, but that they don’t see or won’t accept the power of love.

This type of narrative, while not uncommon, is dangerous, because the stories we tell—particularly the ones we tell again and again—shape our expectations for our own lives and of what romantic love should look like. Rice University philosophy professor Elizabeth Brake suggests that, as a society, we share a cultural assumption that everyone should want a committed romantic relationship, and that that relationship will automatically lead to a happy and fulfilling life.

Our tendency to consume these happily-ever-after love stories leads us to conclude that feeling unhappy or unfulfilled in our romantic relationships for any period of time is abnormal and a sign that the relationship isn’t meant to be. But the truth is that pretty much every long-term romantic relationship will have periods of major difficulty. Divorce is often suggested as the answer to an unhappy marriage, yet a 2002 longitudinal study by University of Chicago sociologist Linda J. Waite suggests that unhappy couples who divorce or separate are no happier than couples who choose to stay married. Waite also found that “two out of three unhappily married adults who avoided divorce or separation ended up happily married five years later.” These findings suggest that while marriage can indeed be difficult and even unhappy at times, periods of unhappiness do not mean a marriage is wrong or must end.

Times of struggle in a romantic relationship don’t necessarily mean that it isn’t a good relationship—they simply mean that as people, we struggle with insecurity, miscommunication, and vulnerability in ways that don’t disappear once we find a romantic partner. In the early stages of a romantic relationship, the passionate emotions of falling in love often overwhelm us and lead us to ignore the flaws of our partner. But lasting relationships require partners to learn each other’s faults and insecurities and choose to love each other despite them, a process that can be difficult but ultimately leads to a more stable, trusting relationship. If we want to develop realistic understandings of life-long love, we need to be telling stories that reflect the complexities of long-term relationships.

Watching the second season of Bridgerton, I had hoped we would get this kind of storytelling in the background of the Anthony and Kate love story, as Season 1 lead Daphne continues as a supporting character. While the show was undoubtedly limited in the stories it could tell about the newlyweds because of actor Rege-Jean Page’s decision not to return, the on-screen explanation for his absence—that he must tend to their estate in the country while Daphne returns to London to support the Bridgerton family—could have prompted a compelling story for Daphne’s character, navigating the early years of her marriage from a distance and with a newborn child. Instead, Daphne appears hardly bothered by her husband’s absence, and spends nearly all of her time on screen reminding everyone of how blissfully happy she is in her marriage and insisting that each of her siblings find their own love matches. Instead of exploring how Daphne and Simon’s relationship continues to evolve, the Bridgerton writers stubbornly cling to the happy ending they wrote, even as Daphne’s continued presence coupled with Simon’s absence pokes glaring holes in that picture.